If you have read my article on 10 powerful benefits of being alone, then you already know I am an advocate for being alone.
But more than that, I am a bigger advocate for living alone.
It has been my biggest dream for the longest time that I hope to achieve soon.
I come from a world or a continent where a lady living alone and not with her husband or parent, is seen as an atrocity.
It’s sickening how a woman can be relegated to that kind of punishment or ideology in her lifetime, but it is a reality over here.
And I know I’m not the only one who detests this.
In Africa, women are expected to go from their parents’ house to their husband’s house and if there’s a woman who chooses to defy this ideology, she’s seen as all sorts.
A prostitute, too independent woman, someone not worthy of marriage, or someone who will chase men/marriageable partners away from her.
But it’s the truth.
Fortunately, we now have ladies who have chosen to defy these odds and are living happier lives.
We now have men and young men who no longer see ladies living alone as some form of abnormality and it’s beautiful to see.
This article is for that person, whoever you are, who wants to live alone at least once in their life and needs a reason to go for that life they want.
And before I go into why you must live alone at least once in a lifetime, I have these two messages for ladies and men:
Ladies, marriage is not fulfillment.
One reason I am not all that psyched about marriage is because I think it is over hyped.
I see a lot of ladies going into marriage not because it is what they want but because it is what is right and I feel sorry for them.
These are ladies who barely got their degree, who never got to know themselves and are already living with another person.
Imagine discovering that you like to travel around the world after getting married and your partner just wants you to stay at home and have babies?
This is what happens when you get married without first knowing yourself. And you cannot know yourself if you’ve never been alone with yourself and your thoughts.
Your adult years should not only be spent with a man or a partner, living for them and trying to make them happy when you’ve not found what makes you happy and fulfilled.
Your 20s are those years of discovery. They are the years you have to try new things. To fail and try again.
To hustle and work hard. To go for your dreams and learn about what you love and don’t love.
Don’t allow anyone to take that from you. Do what you love when you can.
Because when you get married, you will not only have to care for your husband, but also children and in-laws.
Ps: This also applies to men.
Men, It’s okay to love your space
Many men are pressured to get married and live like the society wants them to because a married man is seen as a responsible man.
A lot of men got married not because they were ready financially and emotionally, but because that was supposed to be the next best thing.
Because they thought marriage would complete them but is that true?
This is why we have men in marriages behaving as if they were forced to take on responsibilities as husbands and fathers.
We have irresponsible men who are not mentally ready for marriage but are in it because that is what they were supposed to do.
Why you must live alone at least once in a lifetime
The most beautiful feelings in life are silence, quiet, control, peace, focus, certainty, discovery, etc.
These beautiful feelings can be gotten by living alone.
Everyone must be given the opportunity to live alone at least once in their lifetime, because with living alone comes a great source of strength to navigate life and discover oneself.
Here are 10 reasons you should live alone at least once in a lifetime.
When you live alone, you’re more productive.
When you live alone, you have more time for yourself. You’re able to take control of your activities and it is easier to focus on yourself than other people.
And while you’re focused on yourself, you will start to notice what you like and what you don’t like about the routine of your life.
You will start making decisions on how to be a better person; how to be more organized, how to make your space look neat and reflect you and what you love.
When you live alone, you become responsible.
There’s a sense of responsibility that comes with independence.
When you start living alone, you know there’s nobody to pay your bills except you, nobody to clean your home if you don’t step up, nobody to baby you or pamper you when you make mistakes.
You feel grown. You feel more independent and you also realize that any little or big decision you make will affect your life greatly.
You do things on your terms
Living alone means you don’t have to ask for permission from anybody to do the barest minimum.
From the little yet significant permission of whether to turn off the light or leave it on, to the big permission to stay out late or get a new home appliance.
You don’t gotta ask nobody.
Living alone means you get to do them on your terms. You get to design your home and space the way you want it to be.
You don’t have to inform anyone before you go out and come in.
It all depends on you.
Feels liberating yeah!!
You don’t have to share stuffs
If you’re like me, then you probably hate sharing your stuff.
Cos’ I hate hate it.
And you probably also hate it when you leave your stuff in a place and later meet it somewhere else.
Cos’ it makes me cringe.
When you live alone, you don’t have to worry about sharing your stuff or someone taking your stuff without your permission.
You meet your home, your property, and your favorite things exactly where you left them.
That brings a sense of peace and sanity to mind.
There are times I get anxious when I’m out, just thinking about someone taking my stuff when I’m not home.
Sometimes, I even hide my things away in places they will not be easily seen.
Funny but true.
Another important part is sharing the toilet seat or bathroom.
I think I might have OCD when it comes to sharing the toilet and bathroom.
I am so picky about that part of the house that I’d prefer to have a bathroom no one but me enters.
I want to find my toilet seat the way I left it and I also don’t want to worry about someone giving me infection or some kind of toilet disease.
These all seem funny but they are real stressors that only living alone can cure.
Except you get a lot of visitors in your home.
When you live alone, you get complete privacy.
This goes without saying.
When you leave alone, you can be assured of complete privacy.
No one barges into your home without your permission.
You get to waltz around the house in whatever attire you choose and that includes walking around the house with no clothes on.
You also get to have a lone time to yourself—I mean lots of lone time.
So many lone time that it can sometimes get frustrating.
Sometimes it will get so quiet you can literally hear your thoughts ringing in your ears.
But it is worth it on days you need to be by yourself without distractions and you need to pay attention to your thoughts.
Your creativity finds expression
The most creative people are people who have learned the art of being by themselves.
This is why you will find monks on mountains and in remote areas where there are less people.
If you’re always around people, it will be hard to hear the sound of creativity ringing inside you.
The noise in the world shuts out creativity and blocks out expression.
So, if you want to be more creative and if you want to express your creativity without distractions and occasional blocks, you should live alone.
When you live alone, you are in control.
I know I gave a similar point above but I will like to reiterate this point because it feels good.
Living alone gives you control over your life, your time, your activities, and your thoughts.
When you live alone, you get to see how important your decisions are.
Every decision you make every waking day will affect the rest of your day and the rest of your life.
Living alone helps you see that your life is in your hands and you are the one who can tell how you want it to go.
You’re in control of your sleeping schedule, bills, eating, and workout schedule.
Literally, everything is in your control.
You live life to the fullest.
This is not to say that those who don’t enjoy living alone or being alone are not living life to the fullest— rather it is to say that when you live alone, you get to discover more out of life.
You’re more in tune with every stage of your life.
You want to explore more. You want to see the world and what it has for you.
Nothing is holding you back.
You make mistakes and you learn from them.
You become more cautious about your decisions because you know you will be held accountable for them.
No one shares in the consequences of your decisions—even the good ones—just you, and it’s beautiful.
When you get excited about something and you want to try something new, there will be no one to hold you back and it’s a great feeling.
Self-discipline is ignited when you live alone.
Take it or leave it. When you realize how much the course of your life depends on you, you will have no choice but to take charge.
You will no longer need anyone to force you to take actions that will help you.
You will no longer be pushed over because there will be no one to do that.
You have yourself to motivate you.
Interestingly, if you don’t yield to self-discipline, you will be forced to, because it will show.
If you don’t wash the plates, you will still meet them there and they might start to attract cockroaches and flies, which consequences you will bear alone.
If you wake up late, don’t go to work, or you get to work late and end up losing your job, you will bear the consequences of being thrown out of your home or not having enough money to pull through.
Self-discipline will naturally become a part of you and it will make you a better person in the long run.
It increases self confidence.
The advantage of keeping your own company is that you get to know more about yourself.
You get to know more about your super abilities and your weaknesses.
Knowing your weaknesses helps you to know which area of your life to work on, and knowing your super abilities gives you confidence.
This confidence will show in your conversations with people. It will show in the way you carry yourself and in the decisions you make.
It all begins with living alone.
At least once in your lifetime, you have to live alone because there’s so much to know about yourself and because life becomes more beautiful when you enjoy life on your terms and you do what makes you happy.
Some of these 10 reasons to live alone at least once in a lifetime can also be gotten even if you don’t live alone.
So, this is not to say you’re under compulsion to live alone when you don’t want to.
But if you want to and it has always been a dream for you, then this is your cue, your motivation, to make that decision for yourself.
One of the best things in life is discovering what makes you happy and going all in for it.
Learn new things, do big things, take risks, travel locally and internationally. Don’t let anything or anyone stop you—especially yourself.
If you’re on that journey to self-discovery, then this is the right time to make a decision to live your life to the fullest.
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