10 lessons I’ve learnt by 20 and will be glad to share.
Ps: I was going through the quotes I have written through the years and I saw so many things to share while writing this. So get ready for lengthy lessons from my heart.
“Hey Bee!! You inspire me! You heard that?!! You inspire me greatly!!! I want to carry out your ideas. Pls! Allow me!!!”
Note: I might come off very narcissistic in these lessons, kindly bear with me, this is me shedding all of my egotisticness and being as me as possible.
The role of God in a man and a woman’s life cannot be overemphasized.
God loved me!!
God taught me!!!
God made me!!!
When God is being mentioned, people like to shove the thought out of their minds. But you can’t.
“Denying God’s existence does not make Him go away”
When I gave my life to Christ ‘2017’, I knew something had shifted in me and will never be normal again. My close friends knew I had changed, and some of them had to drop the world and follow the cross.
Christ is not a burden, but a burden bearer and lifter, I know the thoughts of the ‘rules’ in the Christiandom might be scaring you like it scared me.
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest – Matt 11:28
But you will come to find out that a relationship with Christ is much more than that. Looking back. I truthfully didn’t have a life until I met Jesus, you know, I stood for nothing, I had no one to hope on or trust in when things got rough.
I sought for myself in the world and I had no place. But I found my place in Christ.
Please! Please!! Please!!!
Dream without self consciousness!
Dream without thinking!!
Dream without Shame!!!
Dream without people’s plaudit!!!
I had a dream (just a particular one) since when I was young but because I didn’t understand what it was then, I couldn’t study to pursue it, so I studied what was the societies norm and common phrase. You know those courses that are always on everyone’s lips.
And for the purpose of these lessons, I’d tell you I regret it, but for clarity’s sake, I really don’t, because those years in school, studying for what I didn’t want to be while dreaming of the one thing I love most has made me wiser.
I had the opportunity to speak to some students of age 7-12, and I told them with the whole of my heart that they should find what they love doing and do it with all their heart, because that is what I’m doing now. And after embracing my dreams, I love myself more, my dreams expands and broadens themselves and I am more confident that I am almost there.
So dream unapologetically!!!
Love without bounds.
My very close friends have a major problem with me, they don’t like that the same ‘I LOVE YOU’ I tell to them that I’ve known for years, that I can tell it to someone I met a week ago. And to answer that question, I’d tell you to love without bounds. To accept people without judgement, to let people know you care for them when you do. Why hide it? A lot of people want to be loved. Why don’t you show love?
Friends are needed in the journey of life.
I have a small circle of friends with names separating and defining who they are to me. I once told a friend, I wonder if she still remembers, cos’ I barely do—that;
“In our hearts, we have different boxes or sections where we put people or things we love. And those boxes are attended to according to how we feel”
We should surely keep friends, who we have been with through the years and can bodly call friend any day or time.
I started believing in friends—after I had gone through tons of friendship heartbreaks and people who couldn’t handle my personality—when I got my first 2 bestfriends (Male and female)
Note; I’d had lots of failed friendships because if you’d know, ‘I am a lot’ but then this guy came into my life platonically.
Firstly, like a big brother, He would listen to me, we’d have intelligent conversations. He’d give me indepth and vision lifting advices. He taught me to listen. He made me want to be better, because I didn’t want to disappoint him.
He loves all of the kind of music I love, he loves westlife (we are rare and precious people), he made me like one direction, He loves hillsong…Okay let’s not go too deep into music. We’d sing and compose songs together. He always had quotes and lessons for me and questions at the end.
He gave me my 2nd Best book in the world (Chicken soup for the soul) (ps: The bible is my first best).
He’d tell me to write him a note about all I’ve learnt while we have been friends and so many other things I never knew a friend could do. He totally erased the mentality that a male and a female can’t be bestfriends from my mind.
That was my first encounter with a good friend who is now my best friend in the whole world (no one can replace that).
The second, is a girl who was my seat mate in high school. She was the first girl to ever write me a letter asking me if I really was her bestfriend. (Let me tell you why it was wierd for me).
I am/was a very egoistic person, who poses to people like she doesn’t care what they think about her, so I wasn’t close to a lot of girls, because they couldn’t match my personality, so when I actually found a friend in my seat mate, I believed she wouldn’t want to be that close to me because of how I am. But then she wrote me a letter asking if I was her bestfriend, because she saw me as her friend. Dang! That broke miss ice.
Another time, these group of girls in our class walked up to us one day, and asked with a sneer directed at me, if we really were best friends. So I didn’t say a word because if my friend said I wasn’t her friend I’d be humiliated, so I wanted to say we weren’t that close, to save my face—but I was a second too late, cos she spoke up confidently (like she was proud to be my friend) That we were best friends.
And since that day, 6 years now, we are stil going strong and inseparable.
So these 2 people made me realise I wasn’t an island and I could have friends and they will love and accept all of my crazy, regardless.
And since then I’ve had people who would scream on top of the hill about their love for me and whom I’d do the same for.
“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.”
– Walter Winchell
“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe”- Anatole france
If you read and understand these words, and not just understand but live them, you’d be a better person.
“Don’t let anyone make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want”
And I quote:
“Don’t let anyone make you feel like you don't deserve what you Love”
So there is something I noticed about myself, that I wonder if anyone ever notice about themselves, let me start like this;
So I have this friend I really like; but I noticed that I when I talk about my favourite songs or movies, he laughs and calls them ‘whack’ in a demeaning tone or way.
And I actually started losing admiration for this person, like I literally started disliking the person gradually, the more he belittle my likes.
He even go so low as to say—when I like something he likes—that he can’t believe I like something this good giving my taste in hobbies.
Like, its makes me feel really bad (for the person—Haha not myself). Because I know I’m awesome and I have awesome people who like my stuffs, and I’m also the type of person who doesn’t judge people’s interests, (it just doesn’t make sense).
So it makes me dislike the person, cos’ you can’t say you like me and hate the things I like.
I don’t know if someone else actually feels this way. If you do, please don’t stop liking what love.
You deserve it!
Read! Read!! Read !!!
Reading makes you a good conversationalist.
Reading helps you write well.
Reading helps you to be confident.
Reading takes you to another world in the midst of the world you currently are.
Reading will give you a edge over others in every area.
And don’t be static when reading.
Read wide, read Academic books and learn.
Read Novels and Story books and go on adventures.
Read the Bible and become the best of you.
This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success. – Joshua 1:8 KJV
Read Non fictions by great people and become great.
Never stop Reading!!!
Be a Feminist
When I can, I’d write articles on the knowledge I’ve acquired as a feminist and how cool it feels to stand for something, not because the society or a particular school of thought does, but because it is what you are, what you have seen, experienced and are willing to share to the world.
I used to be anti-feminist when I thought feminists were men-hating, sadists who has nothing else to do with their time but try to look for misogynists and inequality in a perfect world.
I have seen, witness, experienced misogynism for myself, in my daily life, in the outside world, inequality everywhere I turn or look.
I didn’t know what all of these meant, like I couldn’t put a name to how I felt about the unfair treatment put on women, until I read ‘A feminist manifesto’ (I wrote a review on it here, with my thoughts on feminism. Note: I was just introduced to feminism then) and ‘we should all be feminist by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and also Daughters who walk this path by Yejide Kilanko (Book review here) and many others that opened me up to the reality of the brutal inequality among men and women. It is disheartening and rather than be so extreme as to becoming misandrous, I have decided to be a Happy, men-loving, focused and dedicated Christian Feminist. You should too.
Love yourself first; then love others.
I was watching a drama, and in this drama, the guy gives potions to couples who love each other, so they can love each other more.
So, a particular couple came in, with the girl looking nervous and oozing ‘low self esteem’ then the guy’s brother asked him to give them the love potion, but the guy said something I held unto;
‘This lady does not love herself, if I give her this potion, it will destroy her, how can she give someone else what she doesn’t have?’
Learn to love yourself first; before trying to love others.
Its overwhelming to have written so much and still feel like I haven’t written at all, I have so many more lessons to share, which I feel will be shared in their own time.
So the last lesson from my heart I will be sharing is;
Please, live, stop dreading waking up, because you wallow in self pity, sadness, depression, hatred and many others.
It’s way too stressful.
Live a life you’d love to look back on and smile at. Even when the going gets tough, always have a go to.
For me; I go to God, He gets me every time. I go to Him angry, sad, tears and all, and He comforts me, He tells me to keep going, He tells me there is something to learn in this difficulty, He tells me there is something great at the end of this difficulty. He pets me, He loves me and teaches me to love on Him.
I go to; Music; I listen to songs with powerful and message-passing lyrics. They are basically my essentials for favourite songs. I mostly listen to Travis greene, Tope alabi, Jay mikee, Westlife, One direction, Hillsong, Jon bellion, Trevor Jackson, Korean pop and many other soul lifting songs.
I go to; Books; its helps me escape my reality, captures me into another world, its absorbs me into another’s life, activities, problems, joy. It makes someone else’s life mine and I absolutely enjoy it.
Many others like Nature, Movies, Going out with friends, Writing, Speaking.
I hope you make good use of my experiences and lesson and become a better you.